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Yule Log |
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12/05/04- |
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Yeah, I took a week off. So what. It's the beginning of the Christmas season, my shopping and house decorating duties are nearly complete; so Holiday on-set lethargia is slowly setting in for this unit. I love Christmas. It is by far my favorite holiday, however, it is also the most exhausting of the holidays. Shopping I have already covered (see Nov. 21st's update). The impending metamophsis of one's home is maybe not quite as nerve-racking, but is probably more energy draining than engaging in wheeled fisticuffs with maniacal holiday shoppers. For instance: There are approximately 1500 flashing, twinkling lights on the facade of my house (thanks to my house-decorating, yard-working alter ego known as Rusty Shackleford, formerly Hank Williams III). An additional 200 adorn the amputated evergreen living (more like dying) in my living room. All this work for about one month of Yuletide enjoyment then it's back into the shed for the lights and ornaments, off to the mass X-mas tree graveyard for Mr. Noble Fir. And yet, year after year, I still drag all that shit out. I still pay too much for a gimped-up tree, and I still thrust myself into the bowels of the underworldly shopping malls à la Dante Algeheri. Damn, I'm a dumb ass. |
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My career as an Aviation Data Analyst is now complete. I bade farewell to Jeppesen last Friday afternoon and it left me feeling a bit melancholy. I will miss the folks in my fucked up little department. They are one of the finest groups of people I have ever had the pleasure of working with. If you read this column, guys, keep in touch. Like I said before, just because I don't work there doesn't mean I'm dead. On to bigger and better things... |
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Word of the week: palmary (PAL-muh-ree) adjective - of supreme importance; outstanding; praiseworthy: If you consider this collection of e-shit to be palmary news, you're a fucking dumb-ass, not to mention one hell of a flatterer. |
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This weeks' update brought to you by the letter "Æ". |
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Stratospheric traces of our transitory flight... |
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11/21/04- |
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Powered flight. Another revolutionary invention that changed the world. In this instance the world shrinks a little; allowing travel from New York to Los Angeles in under one day, rapid delivery of mail, and the every-so-popular next day air freight. A bit of good fortune crossed my path about five months ago. I returned to work with American Check Transport, a freight airline, to fly Mitsubishi MU-2s between Denver and Salt Lake City. The cargo being carried on said flight: cancelled checks and John Deere parts. The checks I understand. Time critical documents enabling money to change hands. But John Deere parts? I guess the Mormons need their tractors and riding mowers operating in tip-top shape just in case they get the holy command from the Almighty to cut the lawn or plant some corn. Maybe the Latter-day Saints ride John Deeres out in the country when they go "evangelizing". Who knows? All I care about is keeping my cushy job and my wallet full. |
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Enter the 2004 holiday season. A time for peace, goodwill, and wearing the magnetic strip off of your credit cards. Hey, I'm a big Christmas fan. I like to wrap presents, eat fattening food, see if I can get my electric bill higher than my neighbors' with all the lights that I put on my house. But the shopping... goddamn! |
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[RANT] |
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I'm not usually one for large crowds. I can tolerate them at concerts and sporting events, but at shopping malls? Fuck that. You soccer moms and yuppies can shove your SUV full of Christmas commodities right up your asses. I hate shopping malls. Quite shittacular. They are the ultimate in anti-convenience. True, you can get everything in one generalized area. But the hassle you have to endure just to get your wife a bathrobe, earrings and a bottle of perfume (No, honey. That's not all you're getting...)? Michael Vick has dodged fewer people in one football game than the over-congested human cattle drive contained within a mall. I'm making a concerted effort to buy all my Christmas shit online this year. |
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[/RANT] |
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Seven days. That's all I have left to work at Jeppesen. Two days this week (due to some vacation and Thanksgiving) then one full week next week and I will be a one-jobbed unit. Actually having time to do things during the week is kind of exciting for me since I haven't had that ability for the past five months. It's amazing how valuable free time can be when you don't have any. |
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Word of the week - neologism: a new word or expression; the use or creation of new words or expressions. Example: I created a neologism with the invention of the word "shittacular". |
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All this machinery, making modern music... |
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11/14/04- |
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Revolutionary inventions. Sometimes changing the world for better, sometimes worse. A few noteworthy ones: Atomic power, sliced bread, television, the spork, and .mp3 encoded music. The latter being this weeks showcase. I purchased a .mp3/CD player for my car this weekend. It is now possible to take my entire collection of music along in my car in about 20-25 .mp3 formatted CDs. Now I can forego the drudgery of the commercial radio station and the radio station commercial and just hear tunes. Magic. I first got hooked on the .mp3 when I discovered you can vary the bitrate (quality) to compress or expand the size of the file based upon your needs. Make it smaller for portability, make it bigger to have near-studio quality recordings. Versatility at its finest. |
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The Jeppesen Christmas, excuse me, Holiday party was this last weekend. |
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[RANT] |
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When did this stop being the Christmas season? Are we getting so homogenized and politically correct as a culture we can't say "Merry Christmas" anymore? Those that are familiar with my religious affiliations know that I have none. I'm the most godless person you will ever meet. I can't stand people that think less of me because I don't believe what they do. Get over yourselves. Just because millions of people insist on perpetuating a myth doesn't mean I'm going to join in on the fairy tale. But, I digress. I haven't seen any Kwanzaa trees. Where are all the Ramadan cards? I have certainly never had Hanukkah cookies. I'm not trying to downplay the importance of religions and their respective celebrations, I'm just saying call a spade a spade. Christmas (in the modern sense) transcends religion in this unit's opinion. |
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[/RANT] |
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An interesting forum for a party. A natural history museum. I'm kind of fond of museums since they bring culture to a usually bland and monotenous urban setting. Since I enjoy drinking as well, what better thing to do than drink in a museum! I know I had fun. Just lower the price of booze, guys. $5.50 for a scotch and soda is a little out of line especially since we're not in a sports venue or an airport. |
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In music news: Possibly the most noteworthy of "comeback" tours is impending. Last week Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, and Eric Clapton announced that they will reunite and tour as Cream. One of the most definitive and benchmark bands of the classic rock genre, inspirations from Cream can be heard through many of the other groups that followed them. Although the tour that is currently planned will be a Europe only trip, there is speculation that there will be unbelievable demand for a worldwide tour. If Denver ends up on the list, I'm there. |
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Next week: In a vapor trail. |
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This week's update brought to you by the number XVIII. |
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A Montana boy in Deutschland |
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11/07/04- |
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As the saying goes, there is a first time for everything. As I type this week's update, Yale Kaul is on an airplane, probably uncomfortable, on his way to Frankfurt, Germany. Avid readers of yalestar.com will know that Yale is not a huge fan of the air travel that the kids are into these days. Anyway, it's his first time off of the continent, which is sort of a landmark point in one's life if you ask me. Even with the innerweb, this world is still a fairly sizeable place when it comes to actually seeing things for yourself. |
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I had ventured over to the Fatherland (Germany) in July of this year. It had been just about four years since I had last set foot in the eastern hemisphere. Frankfurt is one of those European cities that is quickly becoming quite reminiscent of any typical western metropolis. They dig the western culture big time over there. Unfortunately, during the course of World War II, a lot of the original German architecture had been destroyed in Allied bombing raids. Many of the buildings and structures (some dated back to the Middle-ages) are now rebuilt and lost a lot of the intrigue (at least in this unit's viewpoint) that goes along with old, historical architecture. In any case. who wants to go to Europe on vacation just to see shit you can find in the U.S.? |
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In other news... In twenty-six days I will be leaving Jeppesen-Sanderson Inc. and ending my career as an Aviation Data Analyst. I'm fucking fed up with working two jobs. The other one, being a pilot, is my chosen vocation. Although I will miss the folks at Jepp (hey, that's where I met Yale, y' know) I'm not going to miss the work environment there as it has been lately. |
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[rant] |
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I cannot stand, excuse me, I cannot fucking stand managers/suvpervisors that micro-manage. Not only is it a major drag for the subordinate employee, it makes the subordinates look like they are incompetent pieces of shit when, in fact, they are not. This had happened in a couple of past jobs I have held (unfortunately, now Jeppesen) and it puts a real dim view for continuing a career for the affected employee at whatever particular company they work for. |
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[/rant] |
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In a way it sort of sucks to leave Jepp. They are owned by Boeing and have killer good benefits. |
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K-Man's tip o' the week: If you (or whoever's buying the ticket) can afford it , try and get at least a business class ticket or better when flying overseas. Being crammed into a coach class seat with the rest of the budget-traveling human sardines makes for a long and sometimes stinky trip. You never know when you'll be seated next to the Bulgarian who hasn't showered in three weeks. |
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Next week: Modern Music - A Companion Unobtrusive. |
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They Do! |
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11/01/04- |
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I just got back from Wisco last night. For some reason I have a real bittersweet feeling when I leave to return home. Most of my family and long-time friends live up there in Wisco, however, my life waits for me back in Denver. Enough melancholy musings... |
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Unfortunately the Empty Set reunion didn't happen. I guess it's not a huge tragedy, but I was ready to bang on the good ol' 6 string. |
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Nate got married. Wow! I have to say that was possibly the best wedding I have ever had the pleasure of attending (besides my own, of course). Maybe it's just maturity setting in, or maybe I'm beginning to understand more and more why marriage makes people so happy. Nate looked happier last Saturday than I have ever seen him look before. Elisa was, well, most radiant and striking as every bride should be. In any case, they looked perfect and made for each other. And now, the speech I didn't say at the wedding toast. Maybe just nerves or not enough alcohol, but here goes... |
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To Nate and Elisa: |
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My best friend in the whole world, |
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and the woman who he has chosen to love forever. |
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I wish you all the happiness that life can offer you. |
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To share some advice my father gave me on my wedding day: |
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"Stay madly and deeply in love with each other, |
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no matter if it makes you look like a dipshit or an asshole." |
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And some advice from me: |
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"Although you are now husband and wife, |
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never stop being each others' boyfriend and girlfriend. |
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There's a certain feeling that comes with new love, |
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make sure you don't let that feeling fade." |
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Congratulations, Nate and Elisa Paul. Be happy, be well, be good to each other. I had a fantastic time at your wedding, and thank you for the privilege of participating in your celebration. |
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This week's update was, of course, dedicated to Nate and Elisa. More hilarity to ensue next week... |
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Nuptial, commutable, jammocity... |
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10/24/04 - |
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Damn fine Sunday afternoon if you ask me. The Packers are winning and I can actually watch them on T.V., no kids on my front porch trying to sell me crap, ample beers in the fridge, I get to go to Wisconsin this week, Armageddon hasn't arrived yet... Did I mention that the Packers are winning? |
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My best friend, Nate (and Best Man in my wedding) is getting hitched this Saturday up in Appleton, WI. (BTW... This week's "spork" imagery is for you, Nate...) I'm actually kind of excited on three levels. One: my best friend is getting married. Two: I get to return two my home town and visit family and friends. Three: a possible one night reunion of Empty Set, a former punk-rock cover band that I had the opportunity to play with back in my high school days. It seems that playing music, or at least the regularity of performing, has kind of waned for me ever since I graduated from high school. Most likely because I wasn't getting graded on it. Secondly, I moved away from the guys I played with. Now when I get the rare opportunity to plug in the guitar and show off I don't hesitate to jump on it. Let's face it, and I'm hoping that others that have had the experience of playing live will agree; it's some of the most fun you can have with your pants on. |
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[RANT] |
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I'm completely fucking fed up with the morons on Arapahoe Road who insist on driving 20 MPH under the speed limit. If I have to be stuck behind a rolling roadblock consisting of soccer moms with cell phones attached to their ears, I swear to fucking Christ I will go postal. For those of you not familiar with the Denver area, Arapahoe Road is a main thoroughfare for suburban commuters (also despicable, but will be ranted upon later) into a vast sea of cubicle-laden office buildings on the southern end of the Denver metro area. I guess in a way I'm sort of lucky. I don't have to drive on Arapahoe Road during the crux of the rush hour(s) with the endless throngs of S.U.V.s crammed together and stopped up like chunks of automotive cholesterol on one of the main arterial raodways. Or, if you will, a peanut jammed in the constipated colon of southern Denver. I love euphamisms... |
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[/RANT] |
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I'm a bit of a friggin' moron... |
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10/17/04 - |
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Yeah, it's pretty much true. I know web design like Bill Gates knows the welfare system. Armed with courage provided by a 6-pack of Paulaner Oktoberfest Amber and the goal of top-notch mediocrity; I will endeavor to create a website, albeit half-assedly, that is worthy of the miniscule bandwidth availed to me. Here goes nuthin'... |
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